Leverage

I've come to realise that many insurance agents are dimwits. I mean honestly, if many of them are the ones trying to sell me insurance, I shall bombard them, especially those who call themselves "financial planners", with questions that will expose their ignorance about the financial world. Then again, the fact is that many of them are making tonnes of money. Many of them know next to nothing about finance. All they know are the terms "sum assured", "premium", "annualised" or "collected" premium, "monthly", "quarterly" and "annually". I mean really, that's about all! Perhaps insurance really is a very simple product. You save a sum of money at regular intervals, if something unwanted happens to you, you get a large sum as compensation. If nothing happens to you, you get your savings back with interest. There, summed it up in two lines. And people are making fortunes helping other people get insurance. Which made me come to a realisation. If these people, with their exposure and IQ can earn big money, what is stopping me from being like them?? The only answer is how willing am I to learn to work like them. Many of these people achieved their millionaire dreams on nothing more than sheer determination and will power. If I could muster such enthusiasm within myself, I am on my way. Then again...I don't just want to be on my way to be like them. I want to beat them. And I am aware that with my exposure to the finance world, I can be one step ahead always. I just need to act on it. Many insurance agents I've asked, including the rich ones, behave in a strangely lukewarm manner whenever you ask them about the stock market or property or just about any other forms of investments. They start to tell you that investing in the stock market could "burn" you, or property is not a good investment tool because of things such as lousy tenants and fluctuating prices. It is hard to change human nature. Here they are, going all out to convince the general public that insurance is a wonderful thing (and it is, endorsed by Sir Winston Churchill of all people) and yet when it comes to other forms of financial tools, they are the ones who turn it away. People fear what they do not know well. Serious insurance agents are actually people with very flexible schedules. You work 9 to 5 seriously, five days a week and it is enough to make you a multi-millionaire in three to five years. So they've actually got lots of time on their hands. So why not learn to invest? Why say no to money coming from another tap? So they only want money from one source and one source only, which is insurance sales? Granted, you could be making RM50,000 a month, but what is wrong with learning how to make it RM100,000? It is common knowledge that money is the main motivation factor, sometimes the only motivation factor, for many insurance salesmen. So why not learn to make passive money?? You call yourself a "financial planner" and yet you're not interested in passive income? This is where I intend to get ahead. Bruce Lee said, "knowing is not enough, we must apply." Hard work counts for one part, it's time to let your brains come into play. "Hey you've got a CFP! Tell me, what do you think of the market these days? Which sector should I invest in?" And then you get tongue-tied. I shall learn. "Diversify" is old advice. On with the new.

Forever young...

It's funny how things sometimes hit you when you least expect it. My new CD has this 80's hit by Alphaville on it, and I never used to like this song, but somehow today it made me think a lot. I was watching one of my favourite movies Okinawa Rendezvous the other day. It made me think of Leslie Cheung rather deeply. I never was a big fan of his, but now his 2003 suicide is making me think. Some people were saying he has been depressed for two years prior to his suicide, some said he's been sad for 20 years! Some people said the reason for his suicide was that he couldn't bear to grow old and he wanted to be the pop and movie prince of Hong Kong for always. He had this...attraction factor about him, what the Cantonese will call "xiu sa". I was thinking...is suicide really such a serious matter? I agree with the idea that suicide is very selfish, because you are not caring for what people who love you feel. But in the first place, no one in their normal, sane happy mind would want to do this. Some Christians say that God could forgive any crime, even murder, but not suicide. Suicide hard binds you to the way to hell, they say. I still don't believe in the hell concept, and I think I love the Gnostic concept that God is all-loving and would not have created such a place like hell. Then again, if hell is true, I don't want to be killing myself and then end up in some place much more worse than Earth. I need more reassurance that hell does not exist. I was thinking...is suicide such a bad idea? I've had suicidal thoughts many times before. When I'm of no use to anyone anymore perhaps it is something to consider... Lets dance in style, lets dance for a while Heaven can wait were only watching the skies Hoping for the best but expecting the worst Are you going to drop the bomb or not? Let us die young or let us live forever We dont have the power but we never say never Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip The musics for the sad men Can you imagine when this race is won Turn our golden faces into the sun Praising our leaders were getting in tune The musics played by the madmen Forever young, I want to be forever young Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever Some are like water, some are like the heat Some are a melody and some are the beat Sooner or later they all will be gone Why dont they stay young Its so hard to get old without a cause I dont want to perish like a fading horse Youth is like diamonds in the sun And dimonds are forever So many adventures couldnt happen today So many songs we forgot to play So many dreams are swinging out of the blue We let them come true

Nothing to say, but much in the mind...

The previous post served its purpose. It wasn't easy...it was hard...really hard. You might think things will change once you "wake up"...but sometimes, "waking up" does not change certain things...

Some things are real, and they'll always be larger than life. Look at the bright side of it and smile that it was once with you.





I am now at a point in my life where many main issues are yet to be settled. Thankfully, I can say career is somewhat settled. I know what is expected of me, and I know what I want. But life is much more than career and money. I have still to fill certain voids in my life...I want the truth, about what really happened. I will accept anything, but let it be the truth please.

I didn't tell...

I didn't realise I haven't posted anything here since October of last year, so it's been ten months. Many things have happened since then, but today, a lot of things have been going through my mind...so much that it actually tired me out. I'm listening to Jay Chou's Kai Bu Liao Kou (Can't Open My Mouth). It has a really nice tune to it...and while I do not fully understand the lyrics but it seemed to sum up the emotions in my heart now. I hope anyone who will get hurt do not ever visit this page, but I really do need a release. Perhaps it's an after-effect from watching the World Badminton Championships, or perhaps it was something that has been in my mind all this while, but it is now resurfacing, like the lava on dormant Mount Fuji. These past two days I've come to a resolution that I will marry only a girl from Japan, Korea or China. But preferably Japan. I will set that as my goal and work hard towards it...gaining all the necessary qualities that a man can get to give his wife a comfortable life, and I want it to be a girl to be from either of these three countries. I've always have a soft spot for sweet looking Japanese girls. Seeing Shiota Reiko in flesh at the stadium and on TV, and looking at her pictures just made me wonder if I could marry her or someone like her. And then the memories from 2002-2003 come flooding back... She has not replied to my e-mails for a few years now. But I suspect she is still utilising the e-mail account. I just wonder why she isn't bothered to reply me anymore. I like to talk about her, even now, even my mum noticed that previously. All the nice warm lovey feelings I had for her, feelings that I myself wasn't matured enough to dare develop at that time, they were re-emerging today, after having been dormant for so long. I've related stories to several friends about the things she did for me. The praises for my Japanese writing, written by her in a teacher's red ink, with cute drawings to boot. She offering me a cough syrup candy at a time when I was coughing real badly in class (till this day I'm not sure if she did it purposely for me or was it because she found my coughing irritating the whole class! I hope it's the former). She asking me when would I like to get married, when we were all alone in a classroom (this is a major issue for me, from her). She offering to cook for my farewell party before I left for the UK (they were the only ones who cared enough to do a party for me, and she cared enough to cook - "Tai hen, demo Keith san kara, daijoubu..."). She telling me that she would love to stay in KL if she could find "someone" when we were all alone in my car (I was wondering if I could be the one, I did, sensei, I swear...). She asking me if I would still continue being in her class after I registered for Mandarin classes, but I ignored her, only to reassure her later that I would. I wish she had followed me to the airport on the night of my departure to the UK, just so she could meet the rest of my family, but she said something came up (sensei, moshi sensei watashi ni isyouni ku kou e ittara, watashi wa sensei ni zettai oshiemasu). She inviting me to her class the first time I came home from the UK, and I can still remember the smile on her face when she saw me. She came out personally to bring me in. She calling me and telling me she loves the dog doll I bought her. She writing me an e-mail telling me she's feeling sad because she felt "small", and me consoling her...I swear I would've hugged her immediately if I was next to her. If you've read all the above expressions, would you, like some of my friends, think she had feelings for me too? This "she" wasn't Shiota Reiko, but Watanabe Noriko...my Japanese teacher. Someone who meant the world to me a few years ago, and judging by today, perhaps she still means the world to me. Demo, ima sensei wa doko ni imasu ka?? Sensei wa genki desu ka? Doushite watashi no e-mail reply shimasen desu ka? I miss her so much. I wonder if she's happily married, probably with kids, in Japan now. I just need her to respond to me once more. Jay Chou's song is bringing me all these blues, but somehow this masochistic streak in me is forcing me to listen to it over and over. Kai bu liao kou rang ta zhi dao... A year and a half of inactivity from me and I might live to regret having lost her forever. Has she been dropping hints all that while? Did she have feelings for me too? Why did Hayashi sensei tell me she has resigned and will be returning to Japan soon and told me to call her, was Hayashi sensei giving me a huge tip that I failed to act upon? This rain falling outside isn't helping my emotions...I never thought that afternoon in April 2003, when she shut my car door and left for her apartment, will be the last time I saw her.

I thought I was over her long ago already. But Reiko's appearance, or rather me going to watch her, is suddenly bringing back all these bitter sweet memories I have with Noriko-chan. They're sweet memories on their own, but my failure to act more decisively on them is making them a bit bitter. I know the number 012 329 9057 has another occupant now, but I still like calling that number once in a while. The red Kancil with the number WFR 9717 is also gone now. And her dyed blond hair. And her fair pinkish skin. And her three-quarter pants. And the first time I attended her class. And how she liked her "Hai, mou ichido!"

Try, even if you failed, at least you know you tried.

I didn't...and I'm tearing.

God, can you give me just one more chance? To be with her or someone like her? She appeared a little too early for me, but she could have been mine, I believe. Let me know if I was wrong...will she ever return to my life...if only to reply an e-mail?

Let me just share here what happened on Saturday. I went to Menara Great Eastern for yet another of those sales-related seminars. I was particularly looking forward to this one because the speaker, who is known as Mr Sugu, is one of the contracted speakers for my sales group D' Champions. He speaks at their meetings on Monday night at every first Monday of the month for the year, and his specialty is to deliver talks that concern mental strength, something I've always been interested in. But so far, I had never had the privilege to attend any of Mr Sugu's Monday talks, mostly due to work commitments with The Star. So when my manager Gary offered to sponsor me to this Saturday talk typically titled "Breaking the mental barrier", I just had to attend. No excuses.

The talk was interesting, no doubt. Very educational and motivating, and very honest in many aspects. Dealt with all the issues that life insurance agents face, such as fear, worry and stuff. But then it became more interesting when Sugu started touching on belief, and how the human mind can harness the strength from what it believes in. He then decided to involve the Bible, and inevitably, God.

His words, as far as I can remember: "I believe inwhat the Bible says. And I believe in God. The Bible says 'WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.' And I believe that. I'm only a human. And the things I can do are limited. I can only do so much. But there is nothing impossible for God. He can do everything, and that's why He's God, He's there.

"And if you do not believe in God, you would not be able to believe that all things are possible, because in your mind you think you know there are things that are impossible. But if you believe in Him, you know He can do things that are 'impossible'."

For the whole 8-hour seminar, while it was all in all a good talk, that was the only part that brought tears to my eyes. But tears to my eyes there were. I even had to hold it back lest I embarass myself next to my two team members Emily and Celine. In all of the sales motivation seminars that I've attended, NOT A SINGLE ONE of the speakers actually gave thanks or reminded us to keep faith and thank Him for our blessings.

"I thank my manager for bringing me into thisfantastic business..."
"This was the small car I was driving five years ago,and this is the BMW I'm currently driving now..."
"This was my house last time, and look at my bungalow now..."
"This is my income. I'm making RM1mil per year..."

Deep inside I wasn't looking for SUCH motivation. To me, even if you can amass all the riches in the world, but if you do not know how to give thanks, especially to Him, it's meaningless. Everyone I know, knows I'm not in the slightest bit the most religious person. I don't even go to church! But, at that moment, Sugu's quote of Matthew 19:26 just touched some deep nerve in me.




He ended the day's seminar with a "God bless all ofyou."

God bless you too, Mr Sugu, and all of you who are reading this.In Yeshuah's name...

He begins a new chapter and may God be there...

At the time of writing, it is approximately 24 hours to go before my brother steps back into Malaysia again, after having been away in London for more than 10 straight months. I don't usually show it, but I feel a lot of things that he feels and I sometimes wish I can do more...but at times I just don't know how.

He used to go to this Hillsong church, which houses its weekly Sunday service at the Dominion Theatre at Tottenham Court Road. I've been to a service with him once, and it wasn't bad at all. A lot of music and stuff, and it's got a huge following.

I suppose my brother has been attending this church for two years now, and sometimes two years can be a long time. I went online and saw his MSN nickname yesterday. It wrote - "Here I come, one last time, Dominion Theatre."

All of a sudden, a sombre mood swept across me. My own graduation and farewell to the UK has been spoilt by several things, and I never attended much society activities or any church service in Edinburgh. So I wasn't sad at all. Besides, I knew I would be returning to the UK for my brother's graduation this year.

But when I saw what he wrote as the nickname, I subconsciously took his farewell emotion into my own heart. So this is it. This...will be the last time. This...will be where the book closes. This will be where his life in London will close and he will return to KL to start a whole new chapter, where he would enter the working world.

My brother has been much more active than I ever was with university co-curricular activities. He's got a bigger circle of friends, albeit mostly from Malaysia and especially Singapore. But he's been attending this church for, like I said, a better part of two years.

"Here I come, one last time." I wouldn't be surprised if he got emotional at the Dominion Theatre and I wouldn't be surprised if he gets emotional on this particular Sunday. If it were me, I would be too. Heck, I think I could burst out sobbing.

I remember when I left home for the UK in September 2002. There were so many uncertainties on my mind. What if I never see my family again? Highly unlikely, but possible. What if I never get to eat my favourite foods again? And when I got a girlfriend in July the following year, it got even worse. Every time I come back and leave for the UK again, I hugged her tightly and we would just let the tears flow. Too many uncertainties. We cry because there's always going to be uncertainties. But sometimes, it's certain...certain we will never see the place again. I would probably never see Heriot-Watt again. Nor London. Nor take another ride on the Underground.

I'm not a particularly emotional person. The last time I really burst out and wept was June last year, when something happened with the marking on my exams. I kept it all welled up inside, but when I heard my mum's voice over the phone I knew I couldn't take it. As soon as I put the phone down the tear dams opened.

I would understand if my brother were to cry again. It's normal. We all hate farewells. But I hope whatever he's learnt about God and His Son from the great arena that is the Dominion Theatre would stay with him forever, and may God always be with him as he enters the wrking world and its challenges in KL.

From the man who became famous saying "You're fired!"

My own comments in parenthesis.

1. Don't take vacations. What's the point? If you're not enjoying your work, you're in the wrong job. Even when I'm playing golf, I'm doing business. I never stop, and I'm usually having fun... (Mental note taken).

2. Have a short attention span. Most successful people have very short attention spans. It has a lot to do with imagination. Quite often, I'll be talking to someone and I'll know what they're going to say before they say it. After the first three words are out of their mouth, I know what the next forty are going to be, so I try to pick up the pace and move it along. You can get more done faster that way.
(It's hard for me to do this. He's looking at the positive side of it. For me, it's more of a case of knowing how much the person knows or what his character is like once he opens his mouth).

3. Don't sleep any more than you have to. I usually sleep about four hours per night. (As an aside, I've always believed I'll sleep plenty when I'm dead) I'm in bed by 1AM and I'm up to read the newspapers by 5AM. I have friends who are successful and sleep ten hours a night, and I ask them, "How can you compete against people like me if I sleep only four hours. It rarely can be done. No matter how brilliant you are, there's not enough time in the day. You may be wondering: Why do you need a completitive edge? You don't, if you're happy to be an also-ran in life...
(Oh no, I can't. I need at least 6 bloody hours).

4. Don't depend on technology. A lot of it is unneccessary and expensive. I don't have a computer on my desk. I don't use an intercom. When I want someone in my office, I yell. It works a lot better than an intercom, and it's much faster. I don't even have an ATM card-- I've never used one in my life. That's the funny thing about being rich: When I go to restaurants, I rarely have to pay. It's usually on the house. The sad part is that if I needed the money, they would make me pay! ...a lot of other tech devices are completely unnecessary and get in the way of human contact. If you have something important to say, look the person in the eye and say it. And if you can't get there, pick up the phone and make sure they hear the sincereity in your voice. E-mail is for wimps.
(Do you believe that? He doesn't have an ATM card. Then again, I'm not too bad myself with only ONE. I'm a firm believer in the idea that if you can't afford it, put it back! But I disagree with the e-mail thing. I can always pick up the sincerity in a non-corporate e-mail. Sometimes people wanna say something but they're too shy to say it).

5. Think of yourself as a one-man army. You're not only the commander in chief, you're the soldier as well. You must plan and execute your plan alone. People are always comparing business to war and to sports. We do it because these are analogies we immediately understand, not because business is about toughness. It isn't. It's more important to be smart than tough. I know some very bad businessmen who are brutally tough, but they're not smart people...
(Mental note taken. You work for yourself first, then you get people to work you. My dad said one of the reasons he's a boss is because he doesn't wanna be fired, he wants to fire. Another way of looking at it).

6. It's often to your advantage to be underestimated. You never want people to think you're a loser, or a schlepper, but it's not a good idea if they think you're the smartest person in the room, either...One of the reasons President Reagan was such a successful candidate for office was because rival politicians consistently misjudged him. They assumed an actor wouldn't be able to compete. Through the years of insults about his lack of intelligence and political experience, Reagan would smile and remain genial, and in the end, he always exceeded expectations...
(Mental note taken).

7. Success breeds success. The best way to impress people is through results. It's easier for me to do deals now because I've had so many triumphs. You have to create success to impress people in the world of business If you're young and you haven't had any successes yet, then you have to create the impression of success. It doesn't matter whether the success is a small one, or a big one-- you have to start with something and build on it.
(An effective business strategy. Comes with the adage "Fake it till you make it!" Haha...Create the "impression" of success).

8. Friends are good, but family is better. It's better to trust your family than your friends...
(Mental note taken).

9. Treat each decision like a lover. Vast fortunes are accumulated through dozens of decisions a day, thousands a month, and hundreds of thousands in a career. Yet each decision is different in its own way. Sometimes you decide immediately-- love at first sight. Sometimes you go slowly-- the long engagement. Sometimes you gather people in a room and consider various opinions-- the equivilant of asking your friends what they think of the person you've been dating. If you treat each decision like a lover-- faithfully, respectfully, appropreiately-- you won't be locked into a rigid system. You'll adapt to the needs of the particular decision. Sometimes you'll think with your head. Other times you'll think with other parts of your body and that's good. Some of the best business decisions are made out of passion. Sometimes people are surprised by how quickly I make big decisions, but I've learned to trust my instincts and not to overthink things...
(Yet to happen for me. Mental note taken).

10. Be curious. A successful person is always going to be curious...You have to be alive to your surroundings and hungry to understand your immediate world. Otherwise, you'll lack the perspective to see beyond yourself...
(I need to especially improve this aspect).